You can't motorboat a personality
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
