New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
