I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
