So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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