soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Did I show you my penis last night?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
