Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
lets start a swedish sibling band together
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
