I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
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