ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
