talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
