The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
you had me at cake vodka
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
