As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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