I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
