All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
