I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
