I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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