The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
