im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
