i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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