What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
