Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
