I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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