I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
