we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
