glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
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