We won't sleep together?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
