look no pants
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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