Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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