At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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