Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
