That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
