ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
