So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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