listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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