So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
