I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
