i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We have so much sex to catch up on
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
