Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
