I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
