you guys were way drunker than both of me
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
