Dude my mom stole all your condoms
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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