love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
