Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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