Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
