During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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