check it out our google latitudes are spooning
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
