forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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