Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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