I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
