seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
