Define "chronic" masturbator.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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